The turn of the century and we are outside Bursley Town Hall in the Potteries, where the townsfolk are gathered for the inauguration of Denry Machin as the town's youngest ever mayor - but he is late, as usual (TYPICAL MACHIN). He has always been 'a card'.

His progress, from cheating at school to office boy to junior clerk at the local solicitors, culminates in the theft of three tickets for the prestigious municipal ball.

After a crash course in dancing from Ruth Earp, a local teacher (ANOTHER TIME, ANOTHER PLACE) Denry is fitted out with a new dress suit which gains his mother's grudging approval (YOU'LL DO) and arrives at the Town Hall (HOW DO) where he rapidly becomes the sensation of the ball when he invites the Countess of Chell herself on to the floor (NOBODY THOUGHT OF IT).

Even when he is dismissed the next morning by Mr Duncalf, his boss, he luckily falls into new employment (RENTS) but this necessitates demanding back rent from Ruth, who tries to do a moonlight flit (MOVING ON). He catches her out but is won over by her feminine wiles.

Their turbulent engagement (TIME TO SPEND) is chaperoned by Nellie Cotterill, Ruth's friend who is secretly in love with Denry.

When they break up on holiday in Llandudno, Denry bounces back with scheme after scheme (LOCK STOCK AND BARREL) and returns to Bursley with a hat box full of money, much to the disapproval of his mother (IS IT JUST ME?).

Although initially thwarted by Duncalf in his new venture, The Universal Thrift Club (THAT'S THE WAY THE MONEY GROWS), he goes off, at Nellie's suggestion, to see the Countess of Chell, leaving Nellie's dreams still unfulfilled (IF ONLY).

The Countess is rather bored with mundane life (THE COUNTESS OF CHELL) and rejects Denry's offer for her to become the Thrift Club's patron.

Once he has given her a lift to the opening of Truelove and Peabody's grand emporium and she has heard Duncalf's clumsy attempts to disparage Denry's achievements, she changes her mind.

The townsfolk are delighted (THE CARD).

Just as Nellie believes her relationship with Denry to be blossoming (OPPOSITE YOUR SMILE), Ruth returns from recent wealthy widowhood and sweeps Denry off, leaving Nellie to ruefully reflect what might have been (IF ONLY - reprise ).

Denry and Ruth make light of their past differences and decide to spend the future together (MOVING ON - reprise). At their re engagement party, Duncalf announces he is to close Bursley United Football Club. Denry, as always, is one step ahead. He has bought a majority shareholding in the Club and plans to buy back its star player to restore United to its winning ways.

Once again, Denry basks in the townspeople's adulation but he notices that Nellie is absent. Ruth tells him that Nellie is emigrating to seek a new life in Canada, as her family is bankrupt.

Denry and Ruth rush to Liverpool to bid Nellie farewell, but he finds himself unable to say goodbye (IS IT JUST ME - reprise) and Ruth discovers an empty gangplank, with Denry and Nellie off to celebrate their honeymoon - in Canada! Ruth is, typically, consoled by Sir Magnus Cope, the owner of the shipping line - and coincidentally, a widower

We are back where we began - at Denry's mayoral inauguration. He is now happily married to Nellie and has everyone's approbation - except Duncalf, who demands, 'What's he ever done for this town? What great cause has he ever been identified with?' 'I can tell you that', replies the Countess. 'He's identified with the great cause of cheering us up'. (TYPICAL MACHIN-reprise), (THE CARD - Finale)